I once told my friend Denise that my whole life, I couldn't wait to become a yuppie - graduate at the top of the class from a notable design school, find a job with a notable organization in the field of my choosing, be financially independent, begin an investment portfolio (ie my closet), travel the world, be creative and proud of the work that I'm doing, and to always be driven by a purpose to create beautiful things.
Some of that did happened. I did graduate from a design school. I did not graduate at the top of my class because I found a job at a notable organization, which took up all of the time I would have spent doing my thesis at the aforementioned school (this variable was not accounted for). I am financially independent, I have faith that one day I will own a killer closet, I have seen parts of the world that have inspired me and made me proud to be a part of it, but I always feel like there is something missing. I have a blank sketchbook open in front of me that I am terrified of, and its midnight and I have to go to work tomorrow morning. If I want to see my friend this week, who I haven't seen in years, I won't be going to the gym. If I am lucky, I will make it home before 9pm one or two nights this week. If I'm super, super lucky, I'll finally get over my fear that I've forgotten how to draw, and draw something this week.
I have always approached every problem (ie, cleaning my house, figuring out what I want to do with my life) as something that can be organized in a laundry list, chronologically categorized by items that need to get done in order to complete the next item and systematically checked off when they are completed. I did account for the fact that that in order to gain something, something else has to give. I did not account for the Lack of Time or Total Loss of Sense of Self/Direction or Crying Self to Sleep Every Sunday Night variables, and I couldn't even imagine that
I'd be here right now. When you've distilled your life down to the very core of what you require in order to be happy, and its still not enough, what do you give next? There are people who juggle much more than me and do it with grace. I'm tired of having to support everything, laying out instructions and directions for everyone so they'll know what to do (including myself). Sometimes I wish life would cut me some slack and let me know what I should do next, instead of the other way around. What's next?
Finnish illustrator Laura Laine makes melancholy look fashionable (look at that gorgeous head of hair!) so I am head over heels (or head over beaded Chanel 2.55 bag) for her editorial in Muse magazine.
Here is a short but sweet interview with Laura, who is just a bit older than me, where she basically sums up my sentiments about fashion and design: "I felt from the beginning that designing was really not my thing. I only liked illustrating the designs for the portfolios, and only after the first course of fashion illustration I felt I had really found a perfect field for expressing what I wanted...Fashion is something I find extremely inspiring and like to keep as part of my work, but I have never regretted of giving up the actual designing."
Laura is also responsible for illustrating the collectible postage stamp sheet showcasing Finland's finest fashion designers. She studied fashion design at the University of Art and Design Helsinki and currently teaches fashion illustration there. I need to get me a plane ticket to Helsinki, ASAP pyydän!
